stale time. things get old.

im glad nobody reads this. and if you do, than i am very sorry for my emo state of mind.

i need to exercise. all this pent up crap is making me so tired.

its so much easier to have a good outlook on things when the day just begins. by nighttime, you want everything to just up and disappear. for example, this morning, when i went to my first case, i had the "i am going to change you, child with autism, into a socially accepted, fact spouting, preschool prodigy" attitude. at 4 o'clock, i was like, "omgah, child, SHUT UP. stop crying or else i will throw you out that window". by the end of the work day, all i could think was "this is the fate you have chosen for yourself. you naive and optimistic fool."

but thats why days end. thats why weeks, months, years exist. humans have put a finish line, a restart button, on time because thats what we need. we need to be able to go to sleep, putting away our troubles for the day, to wake up refreshed and able to tackle the next day. we need to be able to start over when the old year ends and the new one begins. make new year resolutions. start with a blank semester, pretend we all have 100 percents, atleast until the first midterm comes. humans need that hope of a new beginning because, well, lets face it. we are all failures when held up against the high standards we have set for ourselves. and what better way to evade failure than creating a promise of a blank slate?

it reminds me of a story of salvation that i've been trippin' on. and by "trippin'" i mean "can't get over" or "amazed" not "stuck on some small idea" as urbandictionary.com likes to define it as.