Prayers.

Since nobody reads this...

Prayers:

- identity in Christ

- what ministry has God placed me in?

- what is a leader?

- how do i follow?

- listening > talking

- giving me the heart to serve peers

- restore my relationships; make them Christ-centered

- boldness and action

Thank you God for being sovereign. For always having a plan. Please use me in that plan. Please give me a heart that seeks to live out compassion towards those in need.

a "thank you" would have been nice.

speak before you think.

i've noticed how one-sided blogging can be. for example, i only turn to the blog when im feeling frustrated or angry or contemplative (basically anything not too positive). thus, my blog portrays me as the emo type of person, wrapped up in my own feelings/thoughts/concerns. others blog only when they have something to show off - photo skills, fashion skills, philosophical skills, whatever. basically, blogging in its most raw form is egotistical, biased, narcisitic. its a way that a person forms his readers' opinions on himself. you get to paint a picture of yourself and thats all that the reader gets to see. that pretty much goes for all social networking sites too. status updates... tweets... they all shout "HEY LOOK AT ME!"

on another note (actually, its not really a different topic), house episode 3 was awesome. what a great way to expose an international issue to self-involved apathetic americans. people, wake up and open your eyes. there's so much going on outside the bubble we've created for ourselves. and as for domestic issues, people, educate yo'self before you open yo' mouth. don't just listen to what you hear on tv. do the research. check your sources.

i loved THIS VIDEO. it was pretty awesome. watch it.

stale time. things get old.

im glad nobody reads this. and if you do, than i am very sorry for my emo state of mind.

i need to exercise. all this pent up crap is making me so tired.

its so much easier to have a good outlook on things when the day just begins. by nighttime, you want everything to just up and disappear. for example, this morning, when i went to my first case, i had the "i am going to change you, child with autism, into a socially accepted, fact spouting, preschool prodigy" attitude. at 4 o'clock, i was like, "omgah, child, SHUT UP. stop crying or else i will throw you out that window". by the end of the work day, all i could think was "this is the fate you have chosen for yourself. you naive and optimistic fool."

but thats why days end. thats why weeks, months, years exist. humans have put a finish line, a restart button, on time because thats what we need. we need to be able to go to sleep, putting away our troubles for the day, to wake up refreshed and able to tackle the next day. we need to be able to start over when the old year ends and the new one begins. make new year resolutions. start with a blank semester, pretend we all have 100 percents, atleast until the first midterm comes. humans need that hope of a new beginning because, well, lets face it. we are all failures when held up against the high standards we have set for ourselves. and what better way to evade failure than creating a promise of a blank slate?

it reminds me of a story of salvation that i've been trippin' on. and by "trippin'" i mean "can't get over" or "amazed" not "stuck on some small idea" as urbandictionary.com likes to define it as.

beam me up, scotty

reading transports me into the lives of others. where i can analyze their thoughts while avoiding my own.